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Thursday 24 September 2020

Language Feature EDITING!

Kia ora readers, 

Today I have done some more editing for my language feature! I got some words from thesaurus. I will put the link in if you wanna have a look! thesaurus It's a site that can make boring words into something WAY MORE stronger! 

Here is some of my changes! :)

The door of the decrepit hospital was wide open… I slowly creaked inside. There were deadly spider webs everywhere, bumpy walls and old broken medicines. I went to the highest stage to check it out. Shudder, quake, shake! “H-huh? What’s that?’ I said allowed. I realized that the building was actually making those shake noises! It was an EARTHQUAKE!   

 The building started to shake more! SMASH! “OH NO-” I screeched! A patch of building came down on me.. I gently fainted.. Tears came down my eyes...

2 hours later….

I woke up... I thought this was already over.. But no…. More pieces came down on me, I couldn’t lift it up. I had a hard time breathing and made me WAY MORE painckey of seeing all the dead bodys around me. Until I found this big emergency axe on my right. 

I slowly snatced the axe and the only thing I said to myself now was DIE as a 9th grader or get the axe a-and cut my own leg off. That was the only thing I could do. That’s it! I calmly lifted the axe up high and! SQUASH!

Thank you for reading some of my changes! Have a amazing day! :D

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